Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Standing Firm

My football coach in college always stressed being a man of your word therefore I’m trying to follow through by writing a new post each week. It’s a funny place I find myself. Over the years I’ve told God what I felt like my dream job would be. To make money doing what I love, if that be jumping a four wheeler than all the better, to serve as a worship leader in some capacity and to enjoy great fellowship with any number of people, visiting over coffee and genuinely getting to know others. Its funny because God has actually given me all of those opportunities. I am so very blessed to be doing what I do, working with a company I’ve admired most of my life and serving in various roles in different ministries. Through my various connections in different ministries I’ve had countless conversations and cups of coffee with others and have made some incredible relationships. Seemingly I’m doing all that I ever hope I would get to do and for that I am so thankful, I just can’t help but feel like I’m spinning my wheels.
I don’t wish for this entry to have a negative overtone, I simply struggle to fully enjoy all the good in my life when I feel that I’m not taking any strides forward. No doubt doors are opening. This past weekend I connected with two of the biggest names in the industry and began talking about opportunities to serve and potentially ride with a team called Riders 4 Christ. I’ve been trying to connect with them since before I moved down here so that is quite a milestone. I’ve been asked to become more involved with a ministry called Panic Rev on various levels and my relationships with people in the company I work/ride for have never been better. I am excited to be in this place however I’m still living rent free in someone’s guest room and not getting any closer to any sort of a steady income. Though relations at the house are great, I can’t help but feel like I’m imposing after having been here for 6 months. I’m living off the money I made from the tour I went on back in February and have sufficient funds to last me at least another two months or so, I just struggle with the feeling of not really getting anywhere. I’m starting to look for work but torn between simply relying on God, trusting that he’ll again provide when the funds run out, or doing the “responsible” thing and get a real job. As mentioned I’ve begun exploring the option of work, the only problem is its doubtful an employer will eagerly let me go for a week at a time when shows finally do arise, which is the reason I came here and definitely where I feel called to serve.

And so I’m torn, though I’m expectant that God will begin to move in the coming weeks as decisions need to be made. A constant theme in my life has been God moving at a moments notice, seemingly throwing open doors and creating unforeseen paths where none had previously been. (Reminiscent of the Red Sea perhaps?) Its exciting to see God move in such big ways however for a person like me that likes structure and a solid game plan it creates a great deal of discomfort. Such is life I guess and most definitely a life spent walking with Christ. He has called us to depend on Him, not our own strength and I’m certainly learning a whole new level of dependence. I am so thankful to be where I am and have never been more confident of being in the right place, I’m just learning to trust and lean, “not on my understanding” but on the God that “at the right time will bring everything under the authority of Christ.” Eph 1:10

Prayer requests would be to book shows and be able to ride events, ultimately making money for both myself and the company. I'm eager to return the kindness that this group has shown me by taking me in, letting me live and ride for free and helping me take leaps and bounds forward in pursuing this dream. Also continuing to seek a new place to live closer to town where I can have friends over and continue in fellowship with others while saving quite a bit on gas. A job if that’s Gods plan as I’m eager to get more established and stop living off the generosity of others. A greater intimacy with God., I find my faith is often shaken at times when the road extends beyond my view. That frustrates me as I don’t want my faith to be determined by my circumstances.

That is all for now. This past weekend I was blessed to visit with a couple of my dear friends from my days at Greenville and had an awesome time catching up with them. The couple of photos I attached are ones I created in photoshop. That is something new that I’m very excited about as I’ve been eager to learn the program for some time. Thanks for reading and as always please feel free to say hi. I continue to be blessed when learning that people are actually following me on the crazy adventure ☺ sethfargher@gmail.com

Monday, April 5, 2010

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

Of all the fruits of the spirit, patience seems to be the one God wants me to practice the most. It was a painful, stretching, and trying time waiting many years for this opportunity to move to California and now that I'm here, I again find myself waiting. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for but I continue to ask God to bring about whatever is next.

It was an exciting adventure and a new step of faith going on that 3 week excursion and being able to do my first freestyle shows. Since returning in mid February I've worked very hard at polishing my tricks and adding a few touches to make them all the more exciting. I'm very comfortable in the air and based on what I've seen, have a sufficient enough bag of tricks to move forward in this sport...and yet I'm waiting. For nearly 6 weeks now I've been waiting for a call do go and "ride again." I've struggled with understanding God's reasoning in taking me to the mountaintop of excitement and success with that last tour, only to let things seemingly run dry since then. I feel that I'm ready to go, eager to continue on this path, yet the ability to do shows i.e. being booked for them, does not lie in my hands. I'm dependent upon others for this opportunity thus making it out of my control. Control has always been a struggle for me as I so readily like to be in control of my life. No doubt God is again teaching me to relinquish control over my situation as well as my life as a whole. According to His word He "has all the days ordained to me" already. I need not worry, just take them as they come trusting that He will supply all my needs. This is where I struggle.

My mentor in college thought it was amusing that I'm always ready for the next thing. In my current situation that would be that of making money and better establishing myself. I continue to live in the guest room of our company owner, who remains extremely generous, yet I can't help but feel like I'm in his space. I don't want to be a burden to anyone and I'm eager to support myself. That said, I can't do that in this profession without riding shows. I rely on others to book those shows, thus, my desire to more fully support and establish myself is out of my control. There in lies the problem. I'm trying daily to surrender my situation to God and "lean not on my own understanding." For I surely don't understand the hold up, or why I'm sitting here, spending most days looking for things to do. Not that I'm sitting around doing nothing, I simply FEEL as though I'm not doing anything productive to improve my situation and better establish myself.

I may have brought this on myself. I heard once that when you ask God for more patience or deeper faith, He doesn't zap you with more faith, but rather provides opportunities to practice being patient. I've prayed for a deeper faith and this may very well be Gods way of taking my faith to a greater level. None the less, my goal as I have an increased amount of free time is to write. I feel I need an outlet for my walk with the Lord and writing gives me some sense of sharing what I'm learning or at least what I'm thinking so I'm going to attempt to be more faithful in keeping this blog updated with my daily musings about this journey that I'm on.

My apologies if this is all over the map. Lots is coming to mind and its hard to be brief. In a nut shell I've been waiting on opportunities to do more shows. In the mean time my roomate and I have gotten into racing a little. We made a trek to Lake Havasu Arizona for a WORCS race which was an exciting time. I was pleased with my performance and look forward to doing more of this in the future. You can join me in praying for whatever God has next. I'm eager to move forward from this place I find myself. Not physically as I'm SO excited to be here in Temecula, but to begin actually moving forward to establish myself where I am, and not be so dependant upon the generosity of others.