Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My football coach in college always stressed being a man of your word therefore I’m trying to follow through by writing a new post each week. It’s a funny place I find myself. Over the years I’ve told God what I felt like my dream job would be. To make money doing what I love, if that be jumping a four wheeler than all the better, to serve as a worship leader in some capacity and to enjoy great fellowship with any number of people, visiting over coffee and genuinely getting to know others. Its funny because God has actually given me all of those opportunities. I am so very blessed to be doing what I do, working with a company I’ve admired most of my life and serving in various roles in different ministries. Through my various connections in different ministries I’ve had countless conversations and cups of coffee with others and have made some incredible relationships. Seemingly I’m doing all that I ever hope I would get to do and for that I am so thankful, I just can’t help but feel like I’m spinning my wheels.
I don’t wish for this entry to have a negative overtone, I simply struggle to fully enjoy all the good in my life when I feel that I’m not taking any strides forward. No doubt doors are opening. This past weekend I connected with two of the biggest names in the industry and began talking about opportunities to serve and potentially ride with a team called Riders 4 Christ. I’ve been trying to connect with them since before I moved down here so that is quite a milestone. I’ve been asked to become more involved with a ministry called Panic Rev on various levels and my relationships with people in the company I work/ride for have never been better. I am excited to be in this place however I’m still living rent free in someone’s guest room and not getting any closer to any sort of a steady income. Though relations at the house are great, I can’t help but feel like I’m imposing after having been here for 6 months. I’m living off the money I made from the tour I went on back in February and have sufficient funds to last me at least another two months or so, I just struggle with the feeling of not really getting anywhere. I’m starting to look for work but torn between simply relying on God, trusting that he’ll again provide when the funds run out, or doing the “responsible” thing and get a real job. As mentioned I’ve begun exploring the option of work, the only problem is its doubtful an employer will eagerly let me go for a week at a time when shows finally do arise, which is the reason I came here and definitely where I feel called to serve.
And so I’m torn, though I’m expectant that God will begin to move in the coming weeks as decisions need to be made. A constant theme in my life has been God moving at a moments notice, seemingly throwing open doors and creating unforeseen paths where none had previously been. (Reminiscent of the Red Sea perhaps?) Its exciting to see God move in such big ways however for a person like me that likes structure and a solid game plan it creates a great deal of discomfort. Such is life I guess and most definitely a life spent walking with Christ. He has called us to depend on Him, not our own strength and I’m certainly learning a whole new level of dependence. I am so thankful to be where I am and have never been more confident of being in the right place, I’m just learning to trust and lean, “not on my understanding” but on the God that “at the right time will bring everything under the authority of Christ.” Eph 1:10
Prayer requests would be to book shows and be able to ride events, ultimately making money for both myself and the company. I'm eager to return the kindness that this group has shown me by taking me in, letting me live and ride for free and helping me take leaps and bounds forward in pursuing this dream. Also continuing to seek a new place to live closer to town where I can have friends over and continue in fellowship with others while saving quite a bit on gas. A job if that’s Gods plan as I’m eager to get more established and stop living off the generosity of others. A greater intimacy with God., I find my faith is often shaken at times when the road extends beyond my view. That frustrates me as I don’t want my faith to be determined by my circumstances.
That is all for now. This past weekend I was blessed to visit with a couple of my dear friends from my days at Greenville and had an awesome time catching up with them. The couple of photos I attached are ones I created in photoshop. That is something new that I’m very excited about as I’ve been eager to learn the program for some time. Thanks for reading and as always please feel free to say hi. I continue to be blessed when learning that people are actually following me on the crazy adventure ☺ firstname.lastname@example.org